The Love Scout

Henriikka

Mail order brides from the FSU region tend to expect their American husbands to be rich, because they imagine life in the USA to be glamorous. Many who are brought here especially to rural areas, become dissatisfied with the isolation and the lack of glamour, they are not able to show their “rich” husbands off to their friends, and find that they are not living the high life.

Many of the men involved in these marriages are ones who have had one or more failed marriages in the USA, and who imagine that by bringing over a bride from another country, they will have success. But many times this is not the case considering the man never bothers to self reflect and figure out why he has problems in relationships, so his personality ends up poisoning his new wife, and she waits until she gets a green card, and then she dumps his a** for a european man.

Hongisto

I’m not sure the guys I know who have married asian women could be considered getting ‘mail order brides’.

Both of them met several asian women online. Developed a corresepondence with them over a period of months. Went to their country. Got a relationship going with the one they got along with best.

Then went over there a 1/2 dozen or so times over several years while conversing with them over the internet at least several times a week.

THEN they sent in the visa paperwork & brought them to the US & married them.

And both of them are happy 5 & 7 years later.

Is that a ‘mail order bride’?

Hämeenniemi

I don’t know the specifics of mail order brides but I would caution anyone thinking of doing this to have her sign a pre-nup that states she must stay married for X amount of years and in the event of divorce all property reverts back to the original owner (with clauses to cover the advent of children etc). Nothing wrong with trying something like this but best to protect yourselves, yes?

Harila

The very fact that using the term ‘mail order’ in reference to another human must mean you would deserve everything you get if your ‘purchase’ turned sour!
None of this transaction smacks of equality does it?
Mail order brides is the softer side of people trafficking prettied up, in the basic essence women from poorer countries are encouraged to come to more wealthy, often western places. Surely do not need to be Einstein to figure out an agenda.

Heli

I don’t think there are available statistics on mail order bride marriages. If that type of a relationship is over, neither of spouses is happy to advertise their failure to sustain a relationship. Especially, when he had paid for her services and had gotten a cold shoulder treatment for it. No one likes to admit being used and fleeced by a slip of a girl, who does not even speak English properly. However, how much a fool you have to be to be marrying a female for legal and financial reasons. The way I see it: they deserve every bit of pain they get.

BTW, one or two years of marriage to an American citizen would not allow the mail order bride her heart’s desire: American citizenship. Green card does not keep her arse in USA, unless she is married to her American husband for many years. So, she will sit there and bide her time until she achieves a legal status and certain financial stability, and then all bets are off. In her mind, she paid for all his help the old fashion way. Does that still sound like your ultimate dream female? Good luck! You will need it.

Jauho

*The latest available statistics are for 2005: the National Center for Health Statistics says you are wrong. Please do the requisite research before you start spouting off numbers you can’t back up.

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You are very confused and need to get your facts straight.

It depends on how old the people are when they marry, when its their first marriage. People who marry in their 30′s and beyond almost never divorce. By contrast, people who marry while still teenagers are almost guaranteed to divorce. In the USA the young age at which the couple marry for the first time is the largest single indicator of divorce.

The overall divorce rate in Saudi Arabia also hovers at around 33% – same as in the USA:

“Fahad al-Yahya, a psychiatrist who counsels married couples, estimates at least 30 percent of Saudi first marriages end in divorce. The rate is comparable to the United States where, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, 33 percent of first marriages are disrupted either by separation or divorce.”

Holopainen

I would say the only agenda these women have is to have a better life than they can expect in their country of origin. For the most part, come from places in which jobs and educational opportunities for women are scarce and wages are low.

I would suggest that it is the men who seek out these women who in the majority have far more of an agenda, they want submissive women, who they can control and dominate. No doubt they would call it having a traditional wife.

The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) reports that “…marriages arranged through these services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.”